Keep communication open with son who may be doing drugs
Comments (...)DEAR DOCTOR K: My teenage son seems different lately. He’s lost interest in team sports, is more secretive and is hanging with a new crowd. I’m worried he may be abusing drugs or alcohol. I keep trying, but he won’t really talk to me about it. What can I do?
DEAR READER: Few things are more important to teenagers than being part of a group of their peers. It appears to be hard-wired in us: Teenagers in many different cultures tend to band together, and to suffer if they are not part of a group. When the group does drugs, they can be hard to resist.
When I was a teenager, abuse of illicit drugs wasn’t widespread. But alcohol abuse was. There was a group I wanted to be a part of that was having a party. I went to the party and did what they did. I knew what would happen, yet I did it anyway. I still remember that night, and the next morning, like it was yesterday. Whenever I’m in a liquor store and see that particular brand of scotch whiskey, my stomach turns, even though I’m sure it’s perfectly good scotch.
Teens are surrounded by images of alcohol and other drugs. They see them in movies and on TV. They hear about drugs and alcohol in song lyrics. Alcohol ads show drinkers as popular, beautiful or rich — often all three.
It’s common for teenagers to try alcohol or drugs. Why? Some teenagers use alcohol or drugs to feel good. Some do it to relax or to fit in with their peers. Some do it to make themselves feel older or more sophisticated. Some are just plain curious, and since they are teenagers, consider themselves immortal. They ask themselves what I asked myself that night: “How harmful can it be?”
You may feel that the last thing your son wants is your advice. The same “wiring” that makes teens vulnerable to peer pressure seems to make them resist parental advice. Still, talk to him — just don’t come down too heavy. Make an argument, not a judgment. It may not seem like he’s listening to you, but he probably hears everything you’re saying. And more important, he knows that you care.
Make sure your son understands that drinking or taking drugs can affect his plans for the future. It could ruin his chances of getting into college or getting a job after graduation. It can lead to addiction and possibly even death.
I would suggest asking your son directly if he is involved in any way with drugs or alcohol. If your teen tells you he is not drinking alcohol or doing drugs, but you still are concerned, talk with his pediatrician or guidance counselor at school for advice. It’s also important to set a good example — that’s how kids learn.
We have more information on dealing with substance abuse in our Special Health Report, “Alcohol Use and Abuse.” You can find out more about it at my website.
DEAR DOCTOR K: I’m getting older and need to find a new way to keep fit. I’ve heard that tai chi might be a good option. Can you tell me more about it and its health benefits?
DEAR READER: Tai chi is often described as “meditation in motion.” I think it could just as well be called MEDICATION in motion. This mind-body practice appears to help treat or prevent many health problems.
Tai chi is a low-impact, slow-motion exercise. As you practice it, you move fluidly through a series of motions. The motions are named for animal actions such as “white crane spreads its wings,” or for martial arts moves.
As you move, you breathe deeply and naturally, focusing your attention on your bodily sensations.
A tai chi session usually starts with a warm-up to help you loosen your muscles and joints and focus on your breath and body. Then you proceed to tai chi forms. Forms are sets of movements.
A tai chi session also usually includes “qigong” — “breath work” or “energy work.” Qigong consists of gentle breathing sometimes combined with movement. The idea is to help relax the mind and mobilize the body’s energy.
Tai chi can be easily adapted for anyone, whether you are fit, confined to a wheelchair or recovering from surgery. It addresses the key components of fitness: muscle strength, flexibility, balance and, to a lesser degree, aerobic conditioning.
Combined with standard treatment, tai chi may also be helpful for several medical conditions.
For example, tai chi has been shown to help:
• Improve mood and physical function in people with severe knee osteoarthritis;
• Improve flexibility and slow the progression of ankylosing spondylitis, a painful and debilitating inflammatory form of arthritis;
• Reduce the pain of fibromyalgia;
• Maintain bone health in postmenopausal women;
• Improve quality of life and the ability to perform normal daily activities in women suffering from breast cancer or the side effects of breast cancer treatment;
• Significantly improve risk factors for heart disease;
• Lower blood pressure;
• Improve sleep quality and duration;
• Improve balance in stroke patients.
I don’t know how many people in the West practice tai chi, as I don’t see a lot of people practicing it in public places. On a trip to China two years ago, I took a brisk morning walk around a pond near the hotel. There were a few other walkers and joggers — but there were hundreds of people doing tai chi.
On returning to the hotel, I asked the front desk staff how many of them practiced tai chi. They gave me a curious look. “All of us,” said one. Their parents, their grandparents, their great-grandparents — almost all of them practiced tai chi, they said. It was a part of life. We have to take seriously any practice that has persisted for centuries among millions of people.
Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com.
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