Valentine’s Day, empty nest style

Clue No. 1 that you’re getting up there in years is for Valentine’s Day you get your “Valentine” a four-barrel toaster.

Which is what I did. I was getting tired of her bemoaning her two-barrel job, so I decided to amend the situation. She loves her new four-barrel toaster and says it’s one of the best Valentine’s presents she has ever received. She might be fabricating feelings, but I’ll accept the credit.

I told a neighbor lady about the gift and she said that it was so sad. I told a fellow friend and he said he had gotten his wife the same thing on their wedding anniversary, and four-barrel toasters make a wonderful gift. When I asked him what he had gotten his wife for Valentine’s Day this year, he said a plane ticket outta here. (Belly laughs all around.)

My sweetie and I were going to meet and go to a movie on Valentine’s Day, but there were no afternoon matinees, it being a school day. Since we can’t stay awake after 6 p.m., we had to nix the movie idea.

She lives in Newton and I live in Mt. Pleasant. We decided to meet halfway between in Ottumwa for lunch. There’s a restaurant there called the Riverside that has great country cooking. The Amish frequent it, so you know the food’s good. I splurged and went for the goulash special. It was excellent. It’s hard to find good goulash. She had the Nacho Supreme. After all, it was Valentine’s Day.

I had dressed up for the occasion and wore my best bib overalls with white socks. I noticed a couple of other fellas in there in bibs, so I wasn’t over dressed. My most comfortable clothes are bib overalls. The breast pockets are perfect for holding the cellphone, checkbook, even a wallet. I wish someone would invent dress bibs so I could wear them to weddings and funerals. I saw an old boy once sporting bib overalls with a white shirt and tie. Right smart.

After lunch, we went antiquing. I love rusty junk. It makes great welded sculptures. My girlfriend taught me the beauty of rust, except she calls it “patina.” Whatever. Rust suits me fine. I don’t have to paint it. And the intricate rust, I mean patina, patterns are kind of pretty. It’s all in the eyes of the beholder.